I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
