y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Jerry, you need to find god
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
