i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
