I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We need to get me chipped asap
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
