youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
