i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
