id be glad to
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
