i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
At least life still wants to fuck me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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