Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How naked do you want me to be?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
