Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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