TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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