It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
