She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
