On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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