Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
