Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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