I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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