wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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