Umm I'm too high to move.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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