Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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