She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
