you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
