a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
