found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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