She's JV to your varsity
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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