Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
