my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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