Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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