My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
