At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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