So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
