The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
