You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
