I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
