Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
