he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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