Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
