I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
