So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We have started to decorate penises.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
