come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
