How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
