Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
