And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
