Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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