no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
