In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
