I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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