I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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