It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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