I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
