Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
