His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
