im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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