Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
that is very illegal...i love you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
